Marla and Dorrie
“I saw Dorie for about five seconds after she was born, then she was wrapped up and practically flown to the NICU for life-saving assistance. This was the biggest leap of trust I ever had to take; to trust nurses I did not know to protect my sweet infant,” recalls Marla Janssen, thinking of the day her daughter was born at Alaska Regional Hospital 27 years ago. Baby Dorie spent two weeks in ARH’s Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.
Few parents imagine their newborn will need special care in a NICU. Yet that is a reality for 10 to 15 percent of babies born in the U.S. Those babies remember nothing of their time in intensive care. Their parents, however, never forget. This is particularly true for Marla, who, after 27 years, reached out to find Dorie’s NICU nurse at ARH.
Marla explains, “This year, my granddaughter turned one. I think back often on her birth and the excitement and fear that beautiful day held.
“Because of COVID restrictions, I had become a licensed doula to be a support person for my daughter. After a long, exhausting labor, Marlie-Joy was born unresponsive, and lightning-fast NICU nurses worked to save her! The following week, after our grandbaby was safely home and thriving, I thought back, for the hundredth time, to the NICU gems in Alaska who saved my own daughter.”
Through social media, Marla got in touch with the administration team at ARH. With just the name “Leslie” to go on, they were able to figure out Dorie’s nurse still works at the hospital.
“It was so out of the blue,” Leslie exclaims. “It’s amazing she found me — first going through social media, then administration being able to track me down, without a last name, even though I haven’t worked in the NICU for years.”
Leslie Lance was a NICU nurse for 30 years. Now, after a 41-year nursing career, she’s working toward retirement. She says a few former patients or their parents have kept in touch or reached out, or she’s unexpectedly bumped into them somewhere.
“At a celebration party, a man approached me and said, ‘Hey, Leslie, can I talk to you for a minute?’ I didn’t know him! But he was the father of twins who had been in the NICU in 2000. He wanted to tell me how great they were doing; they’d just graduated from university.” I got to meet one of my grown-up NICU babies!”
Leslie continues, “You know, when parents spend that much time with you and their baby, some up to two months, you can’t help but get attached.”
Dorie and Marla only spent two weeks at ARH, but Leslie had a long-lasting impact on the next year of their lives. Both mom and baby were very ill with an infection at the time of delivery. Though Marla desperately wanted to be a “perfect” first-time mom, her own recovery and Dorie’s medical issues put that goal out of reach.
Even in the hospital, Marla struggled just to breastfeed her newborn — one of those things Marla wanted to do perfectly. Leslie recognized breastfeeding probably wasn’t going to happen for them.
According to Marla, “The day before we checked out, Leslie told me, ‘You know, it would be wonderful if it [breastfeeding] works out. But if you can’t, that’s okay. It is obvious you love your daughter; nursing or not, nursing is not going to change that.’
“After we went home, my body and energy were too used up, and a few months later, I couldn’t breastfeed. I felt so guilty. And I was even approached by strangers at coffee shops who condemned me for bottle feeding!
“Thinking about Leslie’s words got me through that painful time, so I wouldn’t fall apart. I clung to her words, relaxed, and loved my daughter, enjoying every day with her.”
Leslie wasn’t surprised to hear her breastfeeding advice helped Marla. She has comforted many new moms who weren’t able to nurse.
“I am 100% in favor of breastfeeding, but I prefer a commonsense approach. No one should feel guilty if they can’t. I think my perspective has helped a lot of mothers to get past that guilt. It’s the same advice I’ve shared with my own daughter and daughter-in-law after my grandbabies were born.”
Breastfeeding advice isn’t the only comforting guidance Leslie has offered NICU parents.
“Having a baby in the NICU is hard. It’s a scary rollercoaster,” Leslie explains. “I always told parents they would remember the good and bad of that time in their lives, but that time period becomes a smaller and smaller portion of their child’s life as time passes. They’ll remember that it was hard, but it will be a small part of their lives. Perspective is important.”
With 27 years of perspective to reflect on, Marla wanted Leslie to know how grateful she is for the care she and Dorie received at Alaska Regional.
“Leslie made a huge difference in my life. She helped me feel joy in having my daughter. And watching my granddaughter go through her own NICU experience — I want people to understand how important NICU nurses are for these babies and what a huge impact they have on people’s lives.”